Wishes

I wish that my emotions would disappear.
I wish that I understood why my dreams were about someone different.
I wish that people understood that I like to blog.
I wish that I could explain why I like to be alone sometimes.
I wish that I didn't have trust issues.
I wish that I could see Taylor, Samantha, and Megan.
I wish that my father actually cared.
I wish that I didn't feel so broken all the time.
I wish that I wasn't such a nerd.
I wish that I was prettier.
I was that I wasn't afraid to let my talents shine.
I was that I was everything he thinks I am.
I wish he didn't think so highly of me.
I wish that I deserved his praise.
I wish that I was more outgoing.
I wish that I didn't judge people.
I wish that I wouldn't care what people think.
I wish that I knew why my biological mother hates me.
I wish that I knew why she doesn't want me.
I wish that I could see all 16 of my siblings.
I wish that I could be around to see two of my baby sisters grow up.
I wish that I'd been able to grow up with all my siblings in one house.
I wish that I could understand my biological father better.
I wish that I wasn't afraid of losing him one day.
I wish that I could have spent more time with my older sister before she died.
I wish that I more confident.
I wish that I was better at math.
I wish that I didn't have to worry about my family.
I wish that I didn't feel like I was disappointing them.
I wish that my biological father wasn't schitzophrenic.
I also wish that there wasn't a chance of him becoming so lost in his hallucinations that he forgets who I am.
I wish that I could get my brother out of the environment he's in.
I wish that my step brother didn't smoke.
I wish that I could balance my different families.
I wish that my biological mother loved me.
I wish that sleep at night without worrying about someone.
I wish that my thoughts didn't swim around in my head like a fish with no direction.
I wish that I had the words to explain myself.
I wish that I had the motivation to write a book.
I wish that I had the courage to talk to a cute boy who flirts with me.
I wish that I didn't have to think about the future and what it may bring.
I wish that I knew where one of my brothers and one of my stepsisters was living.
I wish that there wasn't a chance of one my baby brother's being schizophrenic.
I wish that I didn't have to feel like I was alone in a room full of my family.
I wish that I had set a better example for one of my sisters as she grew up.
I wish that I had tried harder in high school.
I wish that I wasn't so afraid of losing people.
I wish that I didn't care about everything.
I wish that I could forget some of the memories I have.
I wish that I could erase a certain player from my past.
I wish that I could fix my past mistakes.
I wish that I had never met someone.
I wish that I could stop thinking about someone (not the someone everyone thinks I mean).
But most of all, I wish that I didn't have all these wishes.